This past weekend was "blocked up" for me. I began thinking too much about things I wanted to do and change. I added that to the list of things I had to do and my brain quickly came to a halt. To be honest, I don't take care of "me" enough either. I'm with my kids 24/7.
What a weird feeling. For me, it feels like my body NEEDS to be moving but I don't know to where or for what purpose. Straightening up small things like the kitchen table and wiping coffee stains off the counter become my habit.
My mother-in-law has dinner every Sunday for her family. This past weekend I finally decided to stay home and take care of "me" while Ryan and the kids were gone. But, I was stuck. I sat on the couch staring at the toys on the floor and the dust on the TV stand. I ran my hands through my hair that was still in need of some TLC. I thought of the charcoal mask on my shelf waiting to clean the pores on my face. Yet, no movement, no desire to do anything; no desire to sleep.
I lit a cilantro and lime candle in my extremely cluttered bedroom and cleared my thoughts. Heal me. I sat with my eyes closed until I felt what was bothering me the most. It was kind of silly but it was my closet, of all things.
I drug myself to the studio and applied a toner to my hair and a charcoal mask to my face. I grabbed two large garbage bags and emptied the closet of clothes that will never fit me again, shoes that I haven't worn in years, hats, scarves and other miscellaneous crap. I moved the unclaimed craft items to their designated shelf in my craft closet along with large amounts of newly purchased yarn and wine glasses destined for cute works of vinyl to be applied to them.
The "blockage" disappeared and I had a very productive Monday.
I guess it's worth sitting down and admitting to yourself what's REALLY bothering you. It's worth admitting that we don't take care of ourselves enough. It's worth clearing your head for a few minutes and taking care of the things we have deemed "to-do.....later".
Thanks for reading. Hope you're healing too. :0)
