The Day of No Toys

The Day of No Toys

One day not too long ago, this Mommy totally lost her sh*t and removed every toy from the main floor of the house into the basement. I left a few books and blocks out with them to play.

I bet you know where I'm going with this. It was magical. It was like I lifted a huge vail off of my kids. They read stories together, watched a little television together, and played outside together. This was also the same day I let them see me cry for the first time. It still amazes me how concerned they were. 

Anyway, like a virus, the toys slowly crept their way back upstairs and in to our living spaces. Today has been a very trying day. I can't figure out why my kids are acting out the way they are. I gave them a second chance to correct their behavior and it didn't go well. I don't ask much from them at all. I ask that they help me make this house safe, happy, and healthy. Apparently they didn't feel like doing any of that today. 

So.....BACK downstairs the toys, books and stuffed animals went. 

Next, they decided to start playing rough with each other. I encourage a little rough housing, it's good for them. At some point it started to feel like they were intentionally trying to tick me off. I didn't know what else to do! While I sat thinking of what could be going through their little heads I started crying. Just like the last time they became concerned. They asked a lot of questions about what I was feeling. 

Now that they're napping it's truly dawning on me exactly what kids need. I've read it a thousand times before. They need love and respect. I showed them nothing but love and in my weak moments they showed it back. "Things" have only ever brought out the worst in my kids. "Presents" and "surprises" have encouraged their materialistic side. This has been my personal experience with my kids. I understand other peoples' children are not like that and I am definitely not one to judge another parent. We're all crazy and I'm glad I'm not alone. 

I am seriously considering giving them all of their books back and only allowing them one toy each per day. 

Has anyone else ever done "toy free"?

What was your experience like?

I Let My Children See Me Cry

  For  very long time I understood that in order to appear strong, you shouldn't cry in front of others. This made a lot of sense until I had children. We live in a very sensitive-insensitive world. So many people seem to become offended so easily. Topics ranging from sexism to whether you eat gluten free or not are very sensitive to many people and rightfully so. People deserve to feel how they feel.

However, when someone is crying for help either literally, or by posting the occasional passive aggressive post on Facebook, the majority of people tend to turn a blind eye. I don't think that's right. 

One day while I was making my children lunch it hit me. It was 12:00, I was still in my pajamas. I was giving the kids Ramen noodles. Like a snowball effect one worrisome thought came after the next, "Do we have enough money to get the salon going? Why is it taking so long? Am I REALLY ready for this? Am I really a talented stylist? We still have to move the washer. Ugh, I didn't fold the laundry in 2 weeks. I should change my clothes. I know they like Ramen noodles but it's not good for them! Do I play with the kids enough? Maybe I should get them in a playgroup. I'm very introverted, I don't really enjoy the process of meeting new people." etc etc etc......

I couldn't stop it! The tears just started rolling and wow did they flow. Pent up anxiety much? Ryder and Ara saw me sitting there in a heap and immediately came over and sat down next to me. Ara asked me not to cry. Ryder held my face and asked me lots of questions. They really cared that I was upset. It felt so good to see the look of concern on their little faces. I realized they need to see emotions like this spill out. They need this to make them kind, caring, empathetic human beings! 

Mama can show her babies it's okay to be strong; it's okay to be weak. No one should ever have to hide how they are feeling for fear of what others might think of them.